Letting go of the need to control

By closing your fist, you will capture the butterfly but be unable to
admire its beauty. Open your hand, and beauty is released for all.

You want so much to stay in control, but you cannot do it yourself. So you must acknowledge your powerlessness. This is the first step in Alcoholics Anonymous and the treatment of all addictions. You might as well think of your own struggle in this way.

You have to say yes fully to your powerlessness in order to let God heal you. Your willingness to let go of your desire to control your life reveals a certain trust. The more you relinquish your stubborn need to maintain power, the more you will get in touch with the One who has the power to heal and guide you. And the more you get in touch with that divine power, the easier it will be to confess to yourself and to others your basic powerlessness.

One way you keep holding on to an imaginary power is by expecting something from outside gratifications or future events [or other people]. As long as you run from where you are and distract yourself, you cannot fully let yourself be healed. A seed only flourishes by staying in the ground in which it is sown. When you keep digging the seed up to check whether it's growing, it will never bear fruit. Think about yourself as a little seed planted in rich soil. All you have to do is stay there and trust that the soil contains everything you need to grow. This growth takes place even when you do not feel it.

Be quiet, acknowledge your powerlessness, and have faith that one day you will know how much you have received.

-- Henri J.M. Nouwen
The Inner Voice of Love

"Bloom where you are planted." -- St. Francis de Sales

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to the know the difference.
Reihnold Niebuhr